I will not reconsider telling people that they're asking victims for additional emotional labor. The very attitude is poisonous. Instead of "take over and solve the peoples' problems" it is, like UX research, mostly an act of listening to people of color, not of declaring themselves the arbiters of the solutions.

All it takes is letting go of one's ego to center the conversation around listening to people of color instead of deciding to take control of the conversation or of their "salvation."