As a car enthusiast that mostly had to work on my cars outdoors in parking lots for most of my young adulthood, owning my own home with a garage was a huge milestone in my life. Make no mistake- I was excited about the garage, not the home- and without the garage I wouldn't have bought it!
Shortly after buying this home, the HOA passed a new rule that strictly banned all car maintenance, even in my own garage, even if the garage door were closed. The other people in the community (elderly retired urban white collar workers) could not understand at all why this was such an issue for me, but I felt like my home had been stolen from me. They had blocked me from using my own home for the main reason I had purchased it. I was really stressed about this, and couldn't sleep for months I was so angry... and I eventually had to just sell the place and move.
I find the attitude that doing real work with your own hands is "low class" disgusting. I grew up upper middle class in a family of scientists and engineers, where I learned a sense of pride in doing things myself, with my own hands... and that having to pay someone to, e.g. fix your own car for you is disgraceful. It's something a functional adult should be able to do for themselves. It infantilizes you and renders you helpless when you are, e.g. broken down in a remote place and can't just call for help.
You can better thrive in a high tech world if you deeply understand your tools and machines, and fix and maintain them yourself. It also lets you build a connection with the machine that is rewarding. I feel I can trust my vehicles with my life, because I maintain them with care, and know them inside and out.
I want to clarify, I don't think paying someone to fix your car is disgraceful, and that isn't what I said. My problem is with having the inability to do basic maintenance and repairs by choice, because you think it's beneath you (e.g. low class) to learn. It's like an adult that can't dress themselves because they've always had a servant do it for them. If a person is capable but just doesn't have the time, is incapable because of a disability, the repair is free under warranty, it costs more to do it yourself because of special tools needed, is an unusual job that requires a high level of experience, etc. I don't see that as disgraceful.
We only have so much time though, sure I can do a fair bit of home and vehicle repairs but I find it fascinating and only have one kid. My friends with 2-3 kids and no passion for looking under any hood I don’t begrudge them paying somebody to do it.
I agree, I am a single dad, and although I love working on cars, finding time to do so is really hard. Despite what I wrote, one of my cars is actually in the shop right now for a very expensive major engine repair covered by warranty. My love for tinkering doesn’t extend to ignoring my son so I can pay thousands for parts to do a huge expensive job myself that someone else will do for free! But if it wasn’t free, and I didn’t have the money to pay, I sure as heck could do it.
You’ve made the right choice. I haven’t had a choice at various times in my past, so I’ve spent a lot of time over the years fixing house/car/etc. instead of playing with my kids (of which I still did plenty). When my daughter was in maybe 8 or so, someone started to explain the concept of a piston to her, and she interjected, “I know what a piston is, I’ve changed spark plugs before.” Hearing that helped give perspective on some of it.
In a similar vein a lot of HOAs ban growing food in your yard. I love walking around my neighborhood and seeing the cool things people grow, but I don't live in an HOA neighborhood. I guess growing food at home doesn't fit the class profile some neighborhoods are going for.
> The other people in the community (elderly white collar workers) could not understand at all why this was such an issue for me, but I felt like my home had been stolen from me. They had blocked me from using my own home for the main reason I had purchased it. I was really stressed about this, and couldn't sleep for months I was so angry... and I eventually had to just sell the place and move.
I'm really sorry, that sounds terrible. It sucks to be so powerless in the face of such injustice. I think you made the right decision though. There's only so much one can do in such a situation. It's best to accept one is beat and do what one can with what's left. A hard lesson of maturity but a better life in the long-run.
Shortly after buying this home, the HOA passed a new rule that strictly banned all car maintenance, even in my own garage, even if the garage door were closed. The other people in the community (elderly retired urban white collar workers) could not understand at all why this was such an issue for me, but I felt like my home had been stolen from me. They had blocked me from using my own home for the main reason I had purchased it. I was really stressed about this, and couldn't sleep for months I was so angry... and I eventually had to just sell the place and move.
I find the attitude that doing real work with your own hands is "low class" disgusting. I grew up upper middle class in a family of scientists and engineers, where I learned a sense of pride in doing things myself, with my own hands... and that having to pay someone to, e.g. fix your own car for you is disgraceful. It's something a functional adult should be able to do for themselves. It infantilizes you and renders you helpless when you are, e.g. broken down in a remote place and can't just call for help.
You can better thrive in a high tech world if you deeply understand your tools and machines, and fix and maintain them yourself. It also lets you build a connection with the machine that is rewarding. I feel I can trust my vehicles with my life, because I maintain them with care, and know them inside and out.