In which Java basically has taken over the world of enterprise programming. Contrary to fringe languages like Haskell and the like.

Java forces you to write code in a pretty readable/static manner. Of course you can write 'bad' Java, but the point is that Java limits expressiveness so that YOU are replaceable/won't introduce memory issues. That's the whole point of using Java in the enterprise.

To be clear, I'm not saying anything bad about the JVM.

Not everything that grows like weed is necessarily awesome. Just saying.

Kind of like how Windows basically took over the world of PC computing?

yes, for a long time, anonymous classes was enough, verbose but enough.

More a feature tar pit, yes.