It doesn't help that a lot of people only post good stuff to Facebook. "Pictures of wife and I celebrating our anniversary!". They don't then say "We both screamed at each other for 3 hours, just after the photo was taken."
I have this friend who manages to do just the opposite. He complains that his life sucks, that he needs a job and that he's lonely and wishes he'd meet someone. This of course has the adverse effect on people: it makes them keep their distance because you're "anti-social" or a "downer". Pretty creepy to realize that your whole life can be affected so much by what you see of the world... and what the world sees of you. Television probably had a lesser impact previously, but we're entering a whole new level of social superficiality.
Yeah, overshare can work both ways. All your friends are either having a fantastic time, or their life is ruined. Both can be a bit depressing to watch.
All your friends are either having a fantastic time, or their life is ruined. Both can be a bit depressing to watch.
If you find it depressing that they're having a "fantastic time", then they aren't your friends in any meaningful sense.
This isn't directed at you. Envy is a stigmatized but natural human emotion. (I rarely feel direct envy, but who doesn't second-guess the path they've taken? It's very easy to look for greener grass and say, "Man, I could be a Director now instead of a 3-failed-startup wash-out", never mind that the other person is Director of a failing, bland company.) Everyone gets down when they see other people having easy, seemingly unearned success-- and oversharers tend to be the hypersocial people who make their successes look even more unearned (it being better, in their view, to be well-liked and socially successful than talented or hard-working).
My point, rather, is that if these people's successes get you down, they aren't friends in any meaningful sense. And social network "friendship" is anything but in many cases, since many people are trying to incite envy to validate their own choices and results.
Most of my real friends I never check on Facebook.
Plenty of people are jealous of our actual friends sometimes. There's just still a difference between, "Damn, I wish I had a nice apartment like Miles does" and "Wow, fuck you Miles, posting pics of your snooty-ass new apartment".
You can be jealous of the good experience without letting it poison your liking for the person.
I have to say that one of the best things I've ever done to my depression is to stop using Facebook, cold turkey. I have less social interactions, but they have much better quality thanks to the filtering, and there is a significant effect in my mood.
